Helping men who feel something missing in their lives

The Disquiet in Men

Working with men as they engage the disquiet in their lives

Whatever You Do, Don’t Do This

I know you have gotten this far in your life as a result of hard work, strong will and focus.

You might be thinking, “Hey I’ve been able to figure out what I need to do before, I will find a way to get out of this on my own. I just need to make changes.” Don’t do this!

mens disquietIt’s tempting to think that once you are aware of this Disquiet, all you need to do is just make changes. It isn’t. Making fast changes just to move away from the uneasiness does not keep it away very long. It will creep into your new job, your new relationship or your new home like a virus. Repeat this a couple of times, getting the same or worse results each time, and you will find your life a mess. At best you will be like a hamster trapped on that spinning wheel for the rest of your life.

Take a look at men who are happy and energized with how they are living their lives. If you listen to their story, they will tell you that they know the Disquiet you are struggling with very well. They might tell you they did the same things you are doing now and how it didn’t work. They will then tell you they didn’t ignore their Disquiet, but “listened” to it to learn what it had to tell them. Then they found their “true north” and charted a new course. And they will tell you they did not do it alone. They couldn’t have. It takes help.

So why don’t you hear other men talking about this and getting help?

Most of us believe we have this Disquiet because we have failed – at being successful or at being a good man. I did too, until I learned to listen to it and work with it - with help. Then I saw I wasn’t a failure. For those of you who have all the trappings of success but feel empty inside, like I did, you probably feel like there must be something wrong with you.

For many of you, it’s uncomfortable talking about this, even with other men. Most likely, you never heard about it from your father or other men in your life. The fact that you are even here reading about it means you have broken the silence, at least with yourself. So now ask yourself this:

  1. Am I happy or satisfied with the way its going?
  2. Do I want to just go back to the way things have been, find a way to push away the uneasiness and find a way to make it all work?
  3. If I am going to do something about it, do I know what I need to do?

If you answered “No” to these questions, then most likely you need some help. This is a hard journey to navigate without help.

That is the first step. And a big one! You don’t know what kind of help yet, but you are getting a handle on something that has been gnawing at you for some time. Congratulations! You can begin to explore for different ways to help working with your Disquiet in this website. Read what is here, leave comments of what you see on the blog, ask me questions, and sign up for the free resources. It’s time for real and lasting change.

"Dave, I got the report and I'm pretty sure you are writing about me in every single piece! On any given day I can feel like everything has gone my way and life is grand and satisfying, or that this is one big hollow exercise that I'd better start getting right - with my career as I approach retirement eligibility, with my family as they grow up so fast, and with myself as I feel the AARP breathing down my neck. You are on to something very big and very important with this disquiet issue, and I look forward to reading more. All the best, Chuck."

Contact me if you have any questions about anything you read here. Or just to share a comment! I'd really like to hear from you.

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